CHOCOLATE SQUASH What is it with this weight thing? Everything one craves is bad for you. Why can't a bag of kale taste more like a bag of potato chips? Yeah, I know there are Kale chips in stores if one is starving to death or have lost their taste buds. Why we would all be beating down the doors of the local supermarket to purchase this delightful, tasty low-calorie kale. Maybe if squash tasted like candy and turnip tasted like german chocolate. We would have no problem getting our five to seven fruits and vegetables a day. I would hope that one wouldn't become so addicted to the Kale and/or squash that overdosing wouldn't become an issue. Somehow I can't imagine a twelve step program for Kale Overeaters or Squash Anonymous. So why all these silly comparisons ... well, I am overweight and am eating my kale and veggies. I am also devouring all the bad foods. Recently I was in Halifax for an appointment with my specialist. The doctor put me against the wall and measured my height. There you go five foot three. “What,” I cried loudly. I used to be five six. I lost three inches. I'm not fat, I shrunk horizontally. Yee gads I'm shrinking, gravity is pulling me down and it is not a pretty sight. I go back to see the doctor in August. Oh, my what if I'm down another inch or two. I might become the incredible shrinking woman. Now if I could only find a way to get my body shrinking vertically I'll be in business. If anyone has the panacea for me, for the love of all that is holy, let me in on the secret. ANNE STOREY APRIL 17, 2016